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Hello folks, I am so happy to be here.
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Today I want to talk about
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designing your dream life
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and how to go about turning
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that dream into a reality.
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With my clients,
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I see a huge disconnect
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between the lives that
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they're living now and the
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lives that they're hoping
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to create for themselves.
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This tends to turn into some
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unrealized goals and
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unachieved New Year's resolutions or
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For some people,
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those eventually turn into
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negative self-talk,
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resulting in phrases like,
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I never complete my goals,
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or I never keep promises to myself.
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Phrases like this can really
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eat at your confidence and
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make it really hard to move
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forward in achieving the
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confidence you need to
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manifest your dream life.
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There are multiple paths to
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creating your dream life,
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but today I'm just gonna share one path,
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which is future casting and
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backward design.
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You may be wondering,
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what the heck are these?
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Let's start with future casting.
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Businesses tend to use this
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idea to think about or
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predict trends in the future.
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When they think about these future trends,
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they can better create products,
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update their services,
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plan monetarily for good and bad omens,
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Okay, so that's future casting.
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And I'll tie that to life
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design in a moment.
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Let's address backward design now.
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You can find examples of
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backward design in
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engineering and education.
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Engineers have to see the
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big picture of what a
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project will look like in
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its completion and what's
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needed to make all those things happen.
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So they look at a final
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product and they develop a
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plan with the end in mind.
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Educators have to do the same thing.
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They have standards that all
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students must achieve.
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So a lot of teachers design
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their units backward from
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the goal to the first activity.
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Again, designing with the end in mind.
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So how in the heck would we
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apply this to life design?
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Well,
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future casting for your life is the
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idea of thinking about your
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future and your future self.
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backward design is then
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taking that future life and
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future self and designing
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backward to the point you
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are currently living.
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Okay,
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so how in the heck are we supposed to
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do this?
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If you're driving, by the way,
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you'll want to come back to
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this episode later and do this activity.
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If you are in a space to do so,
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pause now and go get a pen
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and paper to take notes.
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Or you can head over to my
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blog and read a set of
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detailed instructions on how to do this.
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Let's move on to the first step.
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Step one,
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write about the person you wanna
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be and the vision of the
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dream life you want to live.
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Again,
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write about the person you want to
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be and the vision of the
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dream life you want to live.
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So think about the life you
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wanna create for yourself.
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You're gonna do this in first person,
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by the way,
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and you're gonna do it in
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present tense as if you are
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already living this life.
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Describe in detail your
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vision for this dream life.
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How does it feel?
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How do you feel?
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What is your home like?
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Describe your career and how
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you feel about it.
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By the way,
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I have a freebie for you if you
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want some additional
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questions to help you think
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about what you can add in this journal.
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So now the journal itself
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should take some time.
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Depending on how much
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thought you put into it,
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you could take 20 minutes
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to write or you could
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actually take several days
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to really sit down with
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what you've written.
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Some of you may want to
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write and then step away
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from it for 24 hours so you
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can come back to it later
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with fresh eyes.
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Again,
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this should be written in first
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person and it should be
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written in present tense.
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Remember,
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this version of you already has
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everything you want right now.
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Okay, so let's move on to step two.
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Once you're finished with your journal,
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the next step is
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brainstorming the answers
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to three specific questions.
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Question one,
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what are the habits of this future me?
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Write down as many habits
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this version of you has in
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order to achieve this amazing life.
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Question two,
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what do I need to start doing
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today to create the habits
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of this person living my
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dream life and what
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behaviors will get me there?
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You'll notice that some,
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if not all of the habits
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you wrote down in question
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one are the habits that you
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have not mastered yet.
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For this question,
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you're going to want to
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brainstorm all the things
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that you need to start
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doing today to practice and
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master these habits.
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And then question three,
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what actions do I need to
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take to move forward in
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this life to get to my dream life?
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Some of these actions may
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relate to your answer to
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your answers in question two.
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But think of this question
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as more of a to do list.
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If part of your dream life
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is owning your first business,
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write down all the things
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that you know are
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about making this happen and
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all the things you need to
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research about making this happen.
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This might include
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researching how to get a business license,
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trademark, tax information,
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marketing strategies.
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From here,
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you're going to start organizing
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your list by priority, breaking it down,
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breaking down like really,
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really large steps into smaller,
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much more manageable steps.
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And then in step three,
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So we went through those three questions.
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But then in step three,
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you now know all the things
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that are needed to reach your goal,
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your desired life.
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Start putting those answers
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from step two into motion
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and begin designing your
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life backward with all the skills,
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behaviors, habits,
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and thoughts that you need.
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Here's an example of how I
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did this for myself.
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If you've been around me for a while,
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you know that I was a
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teacher for 25 years.
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I wanted to quit teaching so badly,
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but it took me 10 years to
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finally leave the profession.
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I'll deal with that story in
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another podcast.
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Before I left teaching,
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I started my coaching
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business thinking I could
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start getting clients and
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get my program created on
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the side while I was still
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earning an income.
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Once the school year was over,
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I was free to work on my
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coaching full time,
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but I couldn't seem to get any traction.
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And it wasn't until I did
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this activity for myself
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that I realized I had not
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really stepped into the role of coach.
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I was still living life and
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making decisions as if I
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was a teacher with a
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coaching side hustle.
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This realization was such a
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hard pill to swallow.
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This may look different for
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all of you when you do this work,
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but here are a few things
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that I learned about myself
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from this exercise.
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By the way,
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this is not the end-all be-all list.
00:06:41.680 --> 00:06:42.561
You may have some things
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that are different.
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I certainly had more than these,
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but these were five of my top takeaways.
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One of the things I learned,
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I did not fully devote
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myself to coaching because
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I didn't see myself as a
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confidence coach yet.
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The second,
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I wasn't behaving like the CEO
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of a business.
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Third, because coaching was a side hustle,
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I wasn't showing up
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consistently every day.
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I was really inconsistent.
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The fourth,
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I hadn't developed a lot of
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habits and behaviors my
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future life required to
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actually be achievable.
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And the final one,
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I would use the excuse of
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my full-time job to explain
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why I wasn't working so
00:07:23.876 --> 00:07:25.297
hard on my coaching business.
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I was full of excuses.
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That's all there is to it.
00:07:31.637 --> 00:07:33.558
Once I realized that's what I was doing,
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it really was a lot easier
00:07:35.759 --> 00:07:37.740
to figure out what I needed
00:07:37.840 --> 00:07:40.081
to do to actually step into
00:07:40.121 --> 00:07:40.882
my future self,
00:07:41.002 --> 00:07:42.783
to step into that role and say,
00:07:43.103 --> 00:07:44.304
I'm a confidence coach.
00:07:44.964 --> 00:07:46.965
By designing with that end in mind,
00:07:46.985 --> 00:07:48.946
I was able to see the whole picture.
00:07:49.386 --> 00:07:51.267
Before, I was just doing the basics.
00:07:51.687 --> 00:07:53.008
I told myself, okay,
00:07:53.368 --> 00:07:54.469
I want to be a life coach.
00:07:54.789 --> 00:07:55.889
I guess the first thing I
00:07:55.909 --> 00:07:57.270
need to do is get certified.
00:07:57.350 --> 00:07:58.831
Then I'll open up a business.
00:07:59.551 --> 00:08:00.933
It went like this for a long
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time where I would just do
00:08:02.694 --> 00:08:04.516
what seemed like the logical next step.
00:08:05.016 --> 00:08:06.698
If I'd started with the end in mind,
00:08:06.998 --> 00:08:07.919
oh my gosh,
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I would have figured out what
00:08:09.500 --> 00:08:10.802
my thoughts needed to be,
00:08:10.882 --> 00:08:12.423
what programs I eventually
00:08:12.463 --> 00:08:13.304
wanted to develop,
00:08:13.744 --> 00:08:15.366
how I could best serve my clients,
00:08:15.486 --> 00:08:16.927
possible products to help
00:08:16.967 --> 00:08:18.689
me reach my goals, and so much more.
00:08:19.249 --> 00:08:20.370
This all would have helped
00:08:20.430 --> 00:08:22.952
me create a much more linear process.
00:08:23.673 --> 00:08:24.154
Instead,
00:08:24.694 --> 00:08:26.016
I spent a lot of time throwing
00:08:26.056 --> 00:08:27.157
spaghetti at the wall,
00:08:27.258 --> 00:08:28.659
hoping something would stick.
00:08:29.180 --> 00:08:29.961
I would try to figure out
00:08:30.061 --> 00:08:31.182
email marketing only to
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find I hadn't completed two
00:08:32.744 --> 00:08:33.686
other steps first.
00:08:34.186 --> 00:08:36.309
It was a lot of wasted time
00:08:36.389 --> 00:08:38.191
and energy and frustration.
00:08:39.092 --> 00:08:40.574
After doing this exercise,
00:08:40.675 --> 00:08:41.556
I started putting into
00:08:41.596 --> 00:08:44.059
practice the habits, behaviors, actions,
00:08:44.099 --> 00:08:45.121
and thoughts of my future
00:08:45.161 --> 00:08:47.885
self and started actually living as her.
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I'm no longer pretending
00:08:49.868 --> 00:08:50.989
that person is down the
00:08:51.029 --> 00:08:52.131
road and she'll like
00:08:52.612 --> 00:08:54.354
magically manifest herself.
00:08:55.195 --> 00:08:58.176
If you have these really, really big,
00:08:58.476 --> 00:09:00.436
awesome dreams that you wanna go after,
00:09:00.656 --> 00:09:03.737
folks, you cannot play small like I did.
00:09:04.137 --> 00:09:05.077
You have to really think
00:09:05.117 --> 00:09:05.997
about the kind of person
00:09:06.137 --> 00:09:07.817
you need to be in order to
00:09:07.877 --> 00:09:08.798
achieve these dreams.
00:09:09.198 --> 00:09:10.098
And there's gotta be some
00:09:10.178 --> 00:09:11.778
timeframe to that too, right?
00:09:12.238 --> 00:09:14.839
I sat there for 10 years and told myself,
00:09:14.919 --> 00:09:17.439
I really, really wanna leave teaching.
00:09:17.839 --> 00:09:18.779
But in those 10 years,
00:09:18.799 --> 00:09:20.360
I didn't live as the person
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who planned to leave teaching.
00:09:22.260 --> 00:09:24.022
I want to show you how you
00:09:24.082 --> 00:09:25.123
can start designing and
00:09:25.163 --> 00:09:26.785
stepping into the life that you want.
00:09:27.286 --> 00:09:28.667
This is just one of the many
00:09:28.747 --> 00:09:29.949
skills I teach you and
00:09:30.009 --> 00:09:31.531
thrive my coaching program.
00:09:32.051 --> 00:09:33.232
So let's recap.
00:09:33.993 --> 00:09:34.614
Step one,
00:09:35.795 --> 00:09:36.877
you got to take some time to
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reflect on the life that you really want.
00:09:38.739 --> 00:09:40.981
Get super, super, super clear on that.
00:09:41.422 --> 00:09:42.022
Super clear.
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The second step is
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brainstorming the answers
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to those three questions.
00:09:46.307 --> 00:09:47.589
Remember that first question,
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what are the habits of this future you?
00:09:50.992 --> 00:09:51.994
Second question,
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what did I need to start
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doing today to create the
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habits of this person
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living my dream life and
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what behaviors will get me there?
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And the third,
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what actions do I need to
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take in order to move
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forward in this life to get
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to my dream life?
00:10:07.027 --> 00:10:08.648
And then, of course, step three,
00:10:09.008 --> 00:10:10.069
which is starting to
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actually design your life
00:10:12.090 --> 00:10:13.006
with the end in mind.
00:10:13.435 --> 00:10:14.798
Is it going to happen overnight?
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Of course not.
00:10:16.542 --> 00:10:17.925
But your dream life will be
00:10:17.985 --> 00:10:19.929
achieved so much faster if
00:10:19.949 --> 00:10:22.054
you know exactly what to do to get there.
00:10:23.358 --> 00:10:24.318
All right, my friends,
00:10:24.638 --> 00:10:25.899
I hope that everything I've
00:10:25.939 --> 00:10:26.919
talked about today has been
00:10:26.939 --> 00:10:28.579
incredibly helpful to you.
00:10:29.059 --> 00:10:30.320
Have an amazing day.
00:10:30.580 --> 00:10:33.440
Thank you so, so, so much for tuning in.
00:10:33.881 --> 00:10:35.861
Don't forget, if you want that freebie,
00:10:36.001 --> 00:10:36.921
you can head over to my
00:10:36.961 --> 00:10:38.382
website and it'll give you
00:10:38.582 --> 00:10:40.662
additional questions for
00:10:41.282 --> 00:10:42.202
figuring out kind of what
00:10:42.222 --> 00:10:43.203
your dream life is.
00:10:43.923 --> 00:10:45.903
If you found this episode helpful,
00:10:46.043 --> 00:10:47.544
please subscribe and share
00:10:47.584 --> 00:10:48.924
this podcast with a friend.
00:10:49.424 --> 00:10:52.085
Have an amazing day and I
00:10:52.125 --> 00:10:52.925
hope to see you soon.
